meet DOS4GW

as an old enemy

Well, I must say it’s been a weird week so far. Came back from a killer huge weekend, new people, new places, gettin’ my drank on, then BAM straight back to sensible shirts (napisan worked brilliantly for getting the bepanthen stains, cheers for that ppl) and sitting down in the office for most of the day. Culture shock, or something. I’m already planning when I’m going back next. I think I will include Sydney next time, if I can find a decent night to play at.

I got a new computer; that’s been exciting – I picked up all the parts on Tuesday and put them together that night. It’d been maybe.. five or so years since I had built a PC from scratch, but as my brother said, it’s like riding a bike, you never forget that shit. Everything has different numbers now – Core i7, P55, DDR3, SATA3 – but they all seem to fit together in the case in roughly the same fashion. It’s comforting to know that I can jam screws through motherboards and into tray risers with gay abandon and not scrape off even one surface mount component. I guess it’s also a bit bizarre, considering how fast hardware development is these days.

Things that have changed dramatically with computer assembly in the last ten years:

  1. It’s now quite hard to plug a hard drive in the wrong way.
  2. CPUs now have contacts, instead of pins – the pins are on the motherboard instead. Neat.
  3. Not much else.

Anyway, so I got Windows installed, and played me some TF2 last night to see how my old video card is holding up (I replaced my old system entirely except for the vid card, have to wait til next paycheque for that), and it turns out that it holds up admirably. Like an admiral. Full texture qual, shadows, reflections, highest AA on the list. I suppose I was putting too much trust in my old CPU – probably because it cost me so much back in the day. Post purchase rationalisation, perhaps? If anyone who’s reading owns an iPhone, can you tell me if this rings any bells? Cheers.

Can’t wait to get home tonight and play some motherfucking Anno.

Filed under: geek shit, life

black is black, straight back

So, Melbourne.

It’s about twenty four hours since I got back, and I’m only kinda just starting to feel like a human again. It’s been a long road, filled with sleep and comfort food.

After breaking my alcohol drought at Ess Bar on Wednesday night, I went home, did some last minute checks with my luggage to make sure I had everything, and then called a cab to go out to the airport. One arrived on time, and I got out to the airport and onto the plane without incident. Slept through most of the flight over, which was awesome. Arrived in Melbourne at about 7am.

I caught the Skybus into the city, and then a cab to Krispin’s place in Brunswick. I could have caught a tram out, but didn’t know exactly where his place was, so cabbed it just to be sure I made it. I bashed on his door to wake him up. We had a cup of tea and some toast. There was a trip to the shops, and then out to a pub to meet Henry. The pub we were to meet up was closed, so Krispin and I waited out the front until Henry arrived by tram. We had planned to meet GDP at the same pub and had let him know where it was via an ancient form of communication that didn’t involve a mobile phone. There was a debacle with a venue change, but in the end H, K and I ended up at The Retreat on Sydney Road, which was a cool bar that had fake grass out the back. It was very lush and garden-like. Many a beer was had by all.

I eventually managed to contact GDP, who was having trouble with a show booking and hadn’t made it out to the pub yet. We agreed to go and meet him where he was staying instead. A 45 minute cab drive later (thank goodness they are cheaper in Melb than in Perth), we got to the place which was out on stop fucking 50 of a tram line from the city – a fair ways out, considering I had been expecting something a lot closer. Not to worry, we got there in the end, passing the hilariously named Dickmann St on the way. We hung out with DNA, GDP and the boys for a while, before getting on a tram to go down for soundcheck at Bar Open for Render, which ended up being unnecessary. That meant we could start drinking again.

By this stage we’d been drinking all afternoon, so we were pretty jolly. I think there was a kebab at some stage. The gig was awesome; I met and chat and drank with GDP, DNA, Baddums, Aoi, Faux Pas, Dave Slutzkin from RRR, Maude from PBS, and a bunch of other friendly (and mostly drunk) people. I played at about 11.45, and I think the set went rather well. Stage sound was awesome and Able said it sounded pretty brutal out the front.

One thing that made the gig noticeably different from a gig in Perth was the number of smokers around. I’m not a smoker, and although I give smokers shit sometimes, I don’t really have a problem with it. I like that there’s no more smoking in enclosed bars because when it was allowed, I used to come home from every single gig with absolutely everything reeking of stale smoke. My trombone used to stink. By my reckoning, at least half of the punters at the gig were smokers. Anyway.

So yeah the gig was sweet. Thanks heaps to Baddums and Aoi for inviting me over. Ripper shit. If you’re in Melbourne, make sure you check out the next Render.

I awoke the next morning with somewhat of a hangover. I looked around, not remembering how I had gotten home. I could see my wallet and phone on the coffee table, which was a relief. Then I looked around for my laptop. Then I looked around some more for my laptop. Then I messaged a few people to see if they had taken my laptop at the end of the night. Then I rang the venue to see if my laptop was still upstairs. None of these endeavors ended positively. I was pretty bummed about that, but tried to take the long view; I bought a cheap gigging laptop on purpose, so that if something like this happened, I wouldn’t be out too much cash. Still, I was pretty attached to that laptop – I did my first ever laptop gig with it (supporting Foreign Beggars at the Manor in Leederville, for trivia heads), and it’d been with me at gigs and on tour for almost two years now. Anyway, so that put a bit of a downer on the night.

K and I did a bit of shopping out on Sydney Road, which was pretty cool. Many crappy stores line the street, but there are some sweet little nooks and crannies in amongst it all. We watched an awful film called The Fist Fighter on K’s little projector thing, as a way of holding the hangover back, but I don’t think it worked very well – mostly because the film was so god damn loose.

Later on, I caught up with Able over at Tetris, a cool studio space thing where he is staying at the moment. We went back to The Retreat and had another few jugs and shot the shit. It was interesting to talk to him after he’s been over east for a few months now. Sounds like he is meeting heaps of new and interesting people, and getting along pretty well. He told me about doing a collab with this guy Zulu, which I am pretty keen to hear.

Then .. what then? Oh yeah, Krispin and I met up with Henry and Pete, and went over to Pete’s place for dinner and beers – both of which were excellent. Pete cooked up some lamb and snags on his schmick barbie, and I met some his mates from Melbourne who were all pretty cool. We were pretty deliriously drunk by the time the evening was really rolling, thanks to several cartons of Coopers Pale. The night wore on and everyone was looking pretty buggered so K and I left.. at about midnight I think.

We walked down the street to catch a cab from the main road, and considered our options. We were both still pretty keen so headed to a bar to tie one on. The first open bar we came to was a rockabilly place with a cheap pool table. It reminded me a lot of the Hyde Park actually. Anyway, we walked in, and it turned out a bunch of people Krispin knows from work or something were there sinking piss. Winner! So we drank there for a while, and then again back at one of their houses when the bar closed.

I awoke the next morning with somewhat of a hangover. We caught a cab back to Krispin’s place. He had to work, so I took the opportunity to relax a bit and explore the shops on Sydney Road again. I had planned to meet up with Henry in the city in the afternoon to do some shopping, so I killed some time exploring, and then went into the city and eventually caught up with Henry again. We had a look around a few shops, then caught a tram out to the RRR studios in Brunswick, where I prerecorded a chat with Dave Slutzkin for the To and Fro show, that went out on Sunday night. The podcast RSS hasn’t been updated with yesterday’s show just yet, but I’ll link it when it does. I am kinda keen to listen back to what I said, because I don’t really remember.. but I remember laughing a lot and it being fun.

Then it was back to the city to meet up with my mate Aaron, who has known me since before I was born. We hung out at a place called Cookie, which was pretty cool, but weirdly for bars in Melbourne, fucking expensive. Beers were consumed. Hadn’t seen Aaron for like a minute so it was great to catch up.

While we were there, I got a phone call from a random number I didn’t recognise. It was a lady called Wendy, who had found my laptop bag at a cab rank in Fitzroy! Everything was still in it. My guess is that I passed out at the cab rank or something, then when a cab came past, I had to hustle it into the thing, leaving my bag behind in the process. Wendy was walking her dog at 6am the next morning, and had tracked me down by looking at old boarding passes I had left in the back of the bag. Amazing.

We had to hustle to meet some of Henry’s mates for dinner, which was over at a place called The Lambs Go Barrrr (lol). We drank there for ages, they had like a million beers behind the bar, and we tried to go for different beers every time. We moved on into the city at some stage, and went looking for the bar where Dom was playing, but after wandering around for ages we couldn’t find it. K and I chilled in a random pub while H and P went looking around for the place – which, as it turned out, was just around the corner. We moved on, and Dom played about half an hour after we got there (which was about 1am, I think). He was amazing. A tech dnb exposition like no other.

After dancing around like an idiot for too long, we eventually bailed and went our separate ways. I cabbed it back to K’s place and slept for a million years.

I awoke the next morning with somewhat of a hangover. My flight was leaving in four hours, so that meant I had time to grab some food, check some more shops in the city and pick up my laptop from Wendy The Great before Skybussing to the airport for the flight back. Then it was straight from the airport in Perth to the pub – but that’s another story.

So that’s a breakdown of what went down on the weekend. I wish I had more time chilling with Baddums, DNA, Aoi, GDP and those guys, but they had gigs in Brisbane on the Friday and Saturday nights so they weren’t in the area. I wish I had gone to the Aquarium and the NGV, but it wasn’t to be. I enjoyed having a massively social weekend, rather than doing my usual solo city exploration, which is generally what I end up doing if I’m in a new city. The gig was awesome, and chatting to Dave on RRR was sweet too. Catching up with Krispin, Henry, Pete, Aaron and all the new mates really made it a memorable weekend.

I’m planning on being back in Melbourne quite a bit in the next year, so if you live in Melbourne and I didn’t have time to catch you on this trip, don’t stress, I’ll be back to do more gigs and talk more shit to whoever will listen. Thanks especially go out to the man like Krispin; crashing his place was awesome and I really appreciated getting to know some of the weirder, hidden spots in Melbourne.

Back to work tomorrow!

Filed under: gigs, legends, life, tours

when I’m feeling tired she puts food through the door

I’m at the airport. I’m a bit pissed, but not shitfaced. I will make it. I’m checked in and .. I can’t escape from the airport.  yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Thanks to all who helped me drink a beer earlier. Things I’m looking forward to:

1. Listening to The Shape Of Punk To Come on the flight over

2. …

3. Profit.

I’ve made calls and emails and arranged many things. Everything seems to be going to plan – touch wood. Most of the career friendly events are happening on Thursday and Thursday night. Then, it’s pretty much all systems drink until I fly back out on Sunday arvo. I’m squeezing in a prerecord for 3RRR at some stage, and catching up with a lot of mates – but these are all liquid events, that can move around anything that comes up.

Also I plan on whipping Krispin at table tennis. BRING IT.

It looks like.. something.. caught her.


I love all of you. I’ll be back on Sunday.

Filed under: life, tours

think of how a castrated horse feels

Here’s an idea: a git repository that controls the latest version of the album.

I’m super busy til I fly out to Melbourne on Wednesday evening. I’ll try to post again before then, and you’ll probably get a post from the airport before I leave too.

In the meantime, I’m working on remixes, radio mixes, my live set, and also squeezing some work in there too. Gah. Good thing I’m going on holiday soon …

Filed under: life, tours

i got a new complaint

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce Roxy, the newest member of the Jenkins family. A nine year old tan doberman.

She’s one of the most affectionate dogs I’ve ever met. Dad is so much happier with a dog at his feet. She was rescued by the Doberman Association of WA, who contacted Dad to see if he wanted her after her owner was unable to keep her. She loves chewing her blue blanket, but not as much as she loves licking people.

In other big news, as you may have heard earlier, Conrad hit 10,000 videos uploaded yesterday. The man is a fucking genius. Next milestones: 500,000 channel views and 1,000,000 upload views. It’s going to be a long haul, but we are braced and ready.

Went to the football preseason game on Friday night, which was very enjoyable. I’ve done an awful lot of nothing this weekend, but I’ve got a massive week coming up so i definitely needed some time to recharge. That said, I am posting this from work. Had a few things to tidy up that I really should have had done last week. A bit lame, but it won’t take long; then it’s back home to try to finalise an EP that I’ve been trying to get together to take to Melbourne. I’ve decided to release some material that has been around for a while on my hard drive, but that not a lot of people will have heard. It’s not new stuff to anyone who .. lives with me, but I’ve not really pushed a lot of released material out properly in the last twelve months, so it’s probably time to correct that. There’s a couple of totally new tracks too, for the heads that will have already heard some of the other tunes.

The EP will be called.. um..

Alright, enough procrastination; time to get down to it.

Filed under: conrad, life

i need you back, oh baby baby

So it turns out I haven’t been off caffeine totally; I’ve been drinking green jasmine tea, which has some caffeine in it. When I found out this morning, I felt quite stupid. The thing is, I’m not going to worry too much about it. I’ve been feeling heaps better, sleeping much more heavily, and I’m able to concentrate for more than three seconds on things. I’ve also made some new beats which I think are amongst my best work, so that’s an unexpected positive.

It’s my two year anniversary at iiNet today. Well, actually it would have been yesterday, but yeah. It doesn’t sound like much of an achievement, but it’s actually the longest I’ve ever worked for the same company. I’ve also not been going out of my mind in those two years, which has been pleasant.

Conrad is getting very close to 10,000 videos, he’ll undoubtedly hit it this week sometime:

I am wondering if the 10k mark would warrant a shandy.

Filed under: conrad, life, work

promise you, I have been true

Today has been domestic, as Sundays increasingly seem to be. We’ve got a rent inspection at El Shentona on Tuesday, and I’ll be out tomorrow night, so had to bend the back today instead – and it’s all worked out really well. Did the floors, cleaned three of the four bathrooms, did all my washing AND ironing (which is a fucking miracle), and got all of the stains in the carpet from my birthday party out, with the help of some absolutely bitchin’ carpet spot cleaner.

Lame, I know.

Actually, one thing of note that I did today was enjoying a dozy sleep in. If I’m hungover, I have to get up and do something, otherwise I find that the hangover just extends to swallow the entire day. Having been out last night (to a Community gig at the Velvet Lounge, at which I witnessed some Seriously Excellent Fucking Business of the Highest Order, more on that in another post), I found myself in the strange situation of waking up late on a Sunday morning without a hangover.

I spent $12 on soda water and lime at the gig, and it was .. ok. There’s just something about having a pint in the hand at a friendly gig with your mates. If I was to give up alcohol altogether, I think the 11pm-on-Saturday-night-at-the-Scotto pint would be the one that I missed the most. That said, I got through the night with no dramas, and didn’t come close to cracking. Hooray.

Also, I had a bit of a moment this afternoon. The cleaning was all done, and I had clothes for the week clean and ready to go. I made myself a cup of jasmine and sat down on the couch in front of the cricket. Then something weird happened. I actually felt myself relaxing. It was a very pleasant surprise. I hadn’t noticed that this experience was missing from my life previously, but it definitely was.

Going caffeine free has been hard, much harder than going alcohol free. You can get caffeine anywhere, anytime, and it’s socially acceptable to be absolutely hopping with the stuff 100% of the time – and I was overloading on it something cruel. There’s been moments this week when I’ve felt more direct and on track at work than I ever have been. There’s also been hours and hours where I’ve felt totally dead, my brain throbbing and my eyes refusing to focus. I’ve come home from work, instantly felt a migraine coming on, and written the evening off lying my bedroom with the lights off, hoping for a quick death.

Now, I’ve never been much of an all-natural type, but living with much lower chemical stimulant levels has been an amazing revelation. After this month finishes and I come back from Melbourne, I’ve got some strategies lined up to try to slowly ease alcohol back in to my life in a more healthy manner – trying to only drink on weekends and stuff like that. Living without the social lubricant that the society I live in relies upon for so much interaction doesn’t appeal to me – although I don’t plan on ever drinking another caffeinated soda.

Unless we’re having a Trailer Park Boys night and it’s got rum in it, of course.

God, I just read that back and I sound like a total yoga-enjoying yoghurt-eating tree-resident. Fuck this, fuck you, fuck off YEAAAH here’s some motherfucking REFUSED PARTY PROGRAM

As with all Refused stuff, give it a minute. And yeah I know I posted this somewhere else before but I am on a real Refused kick at the moment – also it kinda fits with my theme for the month too, what with them being straight edge vegan Marxists, or whatever.

Here’s to another week! I’m gonna go work on a beat. ah geah.

Filed under: life

stomach acid worms that dance in sugared sludge

Super busy at work at the moment but thought I’d take fifteen minutes before lunch to clear my head and bash out a post before attacking the next big bug.

In the last few weeks, we’ve instituted “tie day” at work on Thursdays. There’s only a couple of us doing it, but I’ve been enjoying it. It started when a co-worker (not a cow-orker, there’s a difference) was lamenting the fact that he couldn’t wear his new tie to work, because he felt like it’d be weird if he was the only one wearing such a thing.

For those who don’t know me personally, I work at a large Perth-based ISP, which prides itself on being a bit different, a bit more casual than the two big players in the current market. Thus, we’re not required to fully suit up to come to work, which is a blessing – we can come in pants and a branded polo shirt, or tidy jeans and a collared shirt, something like that. When we moved to the new office, they tightened up the dress code a little bit, but after a couple of months, it’s back to being pretty slack. However, I’ve started wearing pants and collared shirts every day, in an effort to try to separate “work mode” from “relaxation mode” a bit more. If I’m at my desk in blue jeans and a polo shirt, it feels like I could be at home; LCD screens, keyboard and mouse, internet, doing some code, listening to music.. it’s all too familiar. I made the switch to dressing up a bit more after Christmas, and I think it’s been helping.

Anyway, tie day. At first, I thought it’d be a one off, just to see how it went – and to make sure my mate didn’t feel like too much of a black sheep, heh. I’ve had to wear ties to work every day before, and it wasn’t great, mostly because I was too poor to buy decent shirts and ties. I’ve got some nice shirts now though, and a few wearable ties. I’ve lost my Led Zeppelin tie though; bugger. The test run went well, and we decided to have ‘tied up Thursday’ every week (and you can thank Swee for the name).

It’s got me thinking. We’ve freely made the choice to wear ties to work, and made a bit of a running joke out of it; but it’s certainly made me think about the increasing corporatisation of our workplace. We’re not exactly an evil corporation yet, but I know that since I started working here about two years ago, the atmosphere has definitely changed. Less focus on innovation, more results-oriented decision making. Less small-team unity, more pressure from executives to reach unattainable targets. I realise that this is just business logic coming to home to roost (as it probably should in a publicly listed company) but it doesn’t really foster a positive environment for developers who are supposed to be designing optimal systems, not just ones that will do the job.

I still enjoy my job, and love working with most of the people I work with, many of whom have become close friends, which I realise is a rare thing. I also really actually believe in the brand that I work for. I don’t want to lose that. It’s just sad to see cold management actively working towards pushing away the most talented minds in the company by stifling the pride they need to feel in their work.

god damn, how did I get onto that..

Filed under: life, work

the results are always perfect


Day 2 of not drinking is going well. It’s almost Day 3. Wasn’t as bored tonight, I went back in to work after dinner because I had a few ideas on stuff that had confounded me earlier, and to distract myself a bit. Distraction? Check. Get Shit Done? not so much. Better than nothing though.

I was reading this morning about all the crap that they put into Diet Coke. Now, if you’ve been around my person for the last.. well about five or six years I guess, you will have noticed that I drink a shitload of Diet Coke. I weaned myself off it last year, but I had stacked on a bit of weight and needed all the help I could get to drop it. So I went back on, I think mostly as something to be doing which wasn’t going for a handful of nuts (oh ho).

Now, none of the shit I was reading today sounded very fucking good. Then I got to thinking. What if I could live without the sugar substitutes as well as without the alcohol? Surely that would be helpful. I might have to be stricter about what I eat to counteract the appetite suppressant nature of caffeine, but I reckon I can do it. So, I’m going to try to do that this month too. It might sound a bit rash, but my sleeping patterns are all kinds of fucked up, and the less ‘omg awake now’ juice that I have to drink in the long run, the better. I don’t drink coffee, so that’s not a thing either, at least not for me.

For those of you who are worried that I am pussing out on you with this health crap, well, you can cram it. I usually spend $5-$10 a day on Diet Coke as it stands. That’s $150-$300 a month. what the fuck is that? It’s a fucking waste of money, if nothing else. Even if I only count for $5 a day, that’s my phone bill and gas bill right there for the month, with change to buy a couple of those bitchin’ chicken and avocado rolls from Lawley’s Bakery around the corner.

What the fuck am I doing? mother of god. That’s upwards of $1.5k a year. on soda. What?! That’d pay for a tour’s worth of flights. That’s the new computer I have been complaining about not being able to afford (if you’re reading this, work people, thank you very much for the birthday money, however, please forgive me for spending it on.. tour flights. what I lack in courtesy, I make up in irony). That’s a lot of fucking money and remember, that’s a conservative estimate.

Jesus, like many things I have written so far, I started out with one thing in mind and have totally lost my train of thought. Well, that was a fucking revelation. A grand and a half per year.. probably more. Probably heaps more. Fuck me, I could probably have cleared my fucking credit card debt with the money I’ve spent on Diet Coke at iiNet alone.


Where .. what in the fuck, man? Where does this rampant fucking spending come from? What does it achieve? I’m the first to admit that unfettered consumerism can be a comfort (albeit a pretty fucking cold one) during hard times, but… fuck, this is ridiculous.

Ok well that’s about all the motivation I need for that. If I don’t drink soda, I can spent the money on something that I really want.

Like the gas bill.

Filed under: life

his smell smelled like no other

A quick post from the rock face.. I want to keep this blog up, and one post a week is not “keeping it up” in my book. Bad, bad boy.

So this is a follow up to the ‘omg drinking’ post. After a massively over-cooked weekend, I’ve decided that until I go over to Melbourne on the 25th, February is going to be dry. There’s one or two occasions at which I’ll make an exception, but other than them I want to stop the casual drinking that has been adding to my financial issues and my waistline since the Christmas break. I want to save money so that I can have a good time on holiday, and I need to do a lot of work on refreshing my set for the opening of Render. It’s an honour to be invited over to play at the opening of a night like this, and I fully intend to bring some freshness to the party.

I also intend on bringing back some of the more ‘live’ performance aspects to my live set, which I stripped out when I went on tour with the T-Ford. One of my most valued possessions is my EWI, and I am super paranoid about breaking it (erm… again) but I think standing on stage with just a laptop is A Bit Fucking Boring. I’ve got a padkontrol too, but i’m not really sure how I can work that in. Actually I have a heap of things I could bring along but I think the EWI is pretty unique in the field that I’m in, and it’s not very bulky either, which helps. I need to find a good strap and case for it though. It’s about the size of a soprano sax … does anyone have anything usable lying around that they wouldn’t miss?

Also, life news – I got inked! Lauren at Holdfast did an amazing job. I am already hooked as fuck on it, and can’t wait to get a friend for my little guy on the other arm. Although one downside is that FUCK ME IT ITCHES ARGHAGHGRHAGRHRGH.

I’ve got some sweet news about a release that I really want to drop on you all; the problem is, I don’t really know what the news is, and I haven’t really heard much about it except that it’s happening – which, let’s face it, is the most important thing. So to sum up: things are happening, and these things will be fucking dope. One point I can probably confirm is that you will need a tape deck to play this release, so go dust off your Walkman.

I’d like to finish today with my favourite track from 2009. It’s the best track from the best pop album since Hunky Dory. I am not adding any qualification to that statement; I am right about this and if you don’t agree with me then you can fuck right off.


Filed under: geek shit, gigs, life, shit I like, tours

wait, what?

I'm putting together a new album. I'm also writing about it! hooray. shit is going to be cash.

archives, innit

system 100